The Best of Friends
by learningtosailmyship
Summary: Based on the 1994 movie, and therefore sort of AU: The March Family celebrates Daisy and Demi's birthday, only to find out that deja vu can sometimes be an uncomfortably truthful and revealing force.
1. Chapter 1 Husband and Wife

**(A/N : I do not own Little Women. If I did, I would make Jo say yes to Laurie's proposal, and everyone would live happily ever after.)**

**Chapter 1 –Husband and Wife **

He is aware that he is sweating a little, and he knows it has nothing to do with the pleasant spring weather. Taking a deep breath, he tries to make himself focus on something else. Amy is sitting next to him – beautiful, porcelain, delicate Amy – and they are both riding a charming new carriage to visit Meg and Brooke for Demi and Daisy's birthday. There is nothing abnormal or wrong about that.

Except there is, because he is going to have to see her again. He is the most miserable at times like these, because he has missed her, and now he is going to have to be so terribly close without touching, without letting it show.

But of course he wants to – needs to- see her. He has to let some light enter the black hole that starts and ends in his uncooperative heart.

"My lord, are you alright?"

He is getting very good at holding back the involuntary cringe that itches every time he is brought back to reality, brought from the longing that eventually leads to dreaming and fantasizing. Because what makes his misery pathetic is the fact that he has no right to be miserable at all.

Amy's golden curls glisten in a sun that exists, that rises and sets every single day. Amy's gentle, fragile curves still press against him in the intimacy of the small seat. Her eyes, blue as the sky on a crisp winter day, look on him with transparent love and care. Her high cheekbones and her full but dainty pink mouth beg to be kissed.

But it really is never enough, he thinks to himself bitterly. Because Amy's golden curls glisten, but they somehow lie flat; Jo's curls are dark and mysterious, springing out with gusto against anyone who tries to control them. Amy's curves are gentle and fragile, but she politely declines food and squeezes into corsets; Jo's curves are natural and healthy. Amy's eyes are a crisp blue, but Jo's are an enticing brown, warm like fire and fudge on a snowy evening, beckoning to come closer. Amy's lips are full, but Jo's are always moving – talking, smirking, pouting, smiling, laughing.

How he needs to see his Jo.

He realizes suddenly that he has ignored his wife, and he turns his neck so quickly that something cracks. He forces his lips to curve up. "Yes, my lady?" He knows that his smile will not reach his eyes, but he hopes that at least it will not look too demented or morbid.

Blue pools search brown ones, but she smiles back. "Are you excited to see our family? It has been nearly a week. My goodness! And Daisy and Demi… 3 years old already! Oh, where does the time go?"

"Time is funny, dearest Amy, sometimes it crawls and sometimes it runs"

Did he really just say that? Laurie cannot believe something so blatantly trite just came out of his mouth. Jo would have burst out laughing, head thrown back. He is tempted to do the same now, but he cannot bring himself to, not when he is feeling so despondent, and Amy actually (Dear God! Really?) looks impressed.

"Isn't that so? Oh, look, there's Jo and Professor Bhaer!"

Laurie turns his head too quickly for the second time this morning, only to have his heart plummet just a little bit more. Jo looks radiant. And she and _Friedrich_ –what a horrible name - are holding hands, leaning into each other as they walk and delve deeper into what seems like a serious discussion. The fried old man looks patient and slightly amused, and Jo looks earnest – her eyebrows raised, eyes opened wide as she tries to convey something. A flair of intense, roaring jealousy hits him in the gut. How can she act so happy? She knows he is watching.

_Neither Jo nor her precious professor knows about the brand new carriage. They are oblivious to their audience. _He shoves that thought away, determined to be angry, so maybe he will not melt when he actually meets her. But he knows that would never happen. He loves – cherishes – her too much.

"They look happy, don't they?"

Amy's eyes are suddenly shrewd, and they reflect his jealousy – perhaps they show their own. Deep down, Laurie thinks she knows. And maybe she thinks that he thinks that she knows. But he pretends not to know any of this, and he knows she needs to do the same.

"I daresay they do. But it is a happy day, isn't it?"

His words ring shallow and empty, like the giggles at Sally Moffat's tea parties, long after they reach Meg and John's house and slowly descend the carriage. He offers Amy a hand, and she takes it. They are, after all, husband and wife.

**The first chapter of my first fanfic ever! Please,please, please review? **


	2. Chapter 2 Entrance

**A/N : I have a problem writing uber long chapters. I can only type 2 pages on word, and I can't go on until I start a new chapter. But anyway, here's chapter 2, and 3 will be up soon! Also, I know there's a lot of Amy dislike in these chapters, but please bear with me for now! I never really did like her (book or movie)… and I might be letting that show, just a tad bit **

**Chapter 2 – Entrance **

The house is pleasant – simple and quaint, as always. Brooke opens the door, greeting Laurie as "Mr. Lawrence". He looks over Laurie's shaggy hair – he has been needing to get a haircut – with faint disdain, before he turns to greet "his lovely sister in law". Amy is the perfect lady, inquiring after John's gardening, commenting that he looks younger somehow. Brooke looks taken aback, but pleased; Laurie rolls his eyes. That compliment clearly never gets old or redundant in her mind. The fake, airy quality of her voice makes him want to step back out of the door. But he forces a smile again – he knows his Amy means well, that she truly loves her family.

He nearly hits himself when his eyes first search for Jo, even though he knows that she is still walking, on her way with _Friedrich _hanging on her sleeve. His gaze instead falls on Marmee, and he feels the heat rise to his face, because for some reason he always gets the feeling that Marmee knows exactly what he is thinking. She smiles warmly though, and Laurie returns it. For the first time today, his smile is genuine.

"I'll help Meg in the kitchen" says Amy, her voice far away somehow, and she floats off just as Daisy and Demi come bounding into the main room. They are hyperactive little things- chasing each other, and he watches them wistfully. It was not too long ago that he and a certain member of the March family had done the same.

"So, who else are we waiting for?" he asks Brooke as he sits down, trying his best to look nonchalant. Brooke raises his pale eyebrows, but he answers. "Well, The Bhaers" – Laurie feels a powerful urge to kick the leg of the chair in front of him- "and some friends of mine who are arriving from Connecticut. They have children around Daisy and Demi's age, and I presume that it would be a nice change for Daisy and Demi to see their old playmates."

"And how are you doing, Laurie dear?" Marmee is getting older, her voice is becoming just a little weaker, but everyone in the room still seems to quiet down when she speaks.

"Just fine, Marmee. I was just remarking to Amy in the carriage that time seems to go by so very quickly these days." There was the traitorous, dull phrase again. "We've been entertaining some clients of Grandfather's, and they inevitably bring along some business matters to tend to."

"Are you playing the piano?"There's a hint of sadness there as a shadow of Beth seems to drift over Marmee's face, and Laurie's voice automatically becomes gentler.

"Not as much, Marmee, but I will make sure to keep it up, don't you worry. That piano will never be completely lonely." He feels the need to lighten the mood, and he smiles mischievously. "Also, you know I am such a maestro, that I hardly even need to practice".

"Christopher Columbus, don't stop now, Teddy, your modesty is showing!"

There is no point denying it- Laurie's breathe hitches when he hears her high pitched, loud, and energetic voice. He would recognize it anywhere, anytime. All of a sudden _Jo has arrived _ and Laurie watches as she bounds through the door (well, the girl always did walk quickly), and proceeds to envelope Marmee in a warm embrace, throw Brooke a shy but wide smile, smack Laurie's arm lightly, and tickle Daisy and Demi, all in the span of about thirty seconds. She plops herself down none too gently next to Laurie, and Laurie's nerves are suddenly burning. He is trying his best not to discern her scent –apples, grass, dust, flour, ink, and something difficult to define- just as the professor enters, unsure, but looking genuine.

_He probably practiced the look a hundred times, the old buffoon._Laurie grits his teeth, but his annoyance vanishes as he finds Jo looking at him.

"Hello, dearest Josephine" He tries to stop his broad, Cheshire cat smile. He knows that his eyes have suddenly lit up. If he knew how to stop the reaction, he would, wouldn't he?

"Do not call me that, Teddy; I sound like I could be your great grandmother." But there is the hint of a grin on her shining face. He is about to say something else, because the lifeboat that will get him through the afternoon – and a few more days – is finally here, but she turns quickly, only to shout, "Friedrich, come over here!"

"Hallo, everybody", _Friedrich_ says faintly before he sits in the place Jo has made for him on the couch. Jo is now in the middle of Laurie and the professor, and Laurie marvels at the cruel irony. Another chorus of "hellos" is followed by Amy and Meg returning from the kitchen, a freshly baked cake in both their hands.

"Are you even going to eat a piece, Amy?"

He meant it as a joke, but he realizes too late that his voice was too loud and surprisingly bitter. The air in the room is suddenly little tense, and conversation falters. Jo whispers his name in a chastising way, and Amy's carefully constructed expression betrays a little hurt. Laurie backtracks suddenly. "It's just that you are so thin, my lady… too thin, in fact. The wind could knock you over! What do you say, Jo?'

Jo hurries to his rescue…like she always has, and always will. "I've been telling her that for years, Teddy dear, but she never listens to me. How can you be jolly when you don't have at least some meat on your bones to supply you with fuel?"

Amy smiles indulgently, and Jo continues. "Amy, we all know that you are a delicate flower, but… if you eat more, then we won't all – well, I in particular, maybe – won't feel like such a pig!"

Laurie grins, because it is such a Jo thing to do to insult her own self to make any of her sisters feel better. Jo proceeds to kiss Meg and Amy on the cheeks, and Laurie is thankful when there is another knock on the door, distracting Brooke from giving him superior and solemn, but guilt- inducing glances.

**I love reviews, almost as much as I love coffee! **


	3. Chapter 3 Uncomfortable Truths

**A/N: So I ****actually **_**can **_**write a longer chapter**

**Edit : I was rereading this, and the name "Edward" for the perfect-looking Davies boy seemed like a tribute to Twilight, which made me cringe. Soo... I changed it. I apologize for any inconvenience this may cause :) ALSO - the movie implies Jo's school is for everyone, not just boys, which is why Mrs. Davies asks her... well, read on to find out, hehe!**

**Chapter 3 – Uncomfortable truths **

Mr. and Mrs. Davies are the last guests to arrive, with a little boy and girl in tow. They are a rather striking family; the husband and wife are both tall and lithe, with hair so blonde that it is almost white. Their shining hair is set off by identical pairs of shocking blue eyes – bluer and clearer even than Amy's. The little boy, whose name Laurie has heard from Demi is Charles, is a miniature of his father. At around seven years old, he looks a painted angel from a milk advertisement.

As Laurie's eyes land on the girl, though, he is taken aback. She holds her – brother's? – hand, but though she is also a very attractive child, her skin is a stark contrast to those around her. It is a light brown color, and her eyes and hair are as dark as coal. Confused, he looks next to him at Jo, who looks unfazed but slightly puzzled.

Despite its unusual appearance, the family seems to settle itself well enough into the gathering. The children brought a puzzle, and Daisy and Demi join them on the floor not far from the kitchen. Mr. Davies is discussing philosophy with the professor, Meg, and John. Mrs. Davies and Amy seem to have a lot in common –in another corner of the room, they are talking about the newest model of carriages in England; Amy's eyes have lit up in fascination. It is at times like these, Laurie thinks as he sits on the sofa and looks over at her, that he can remember how he fell in love with her. She gets fascinated by the simplest and silliest things- carriages, colors, dresses, perfumes - and a lovely flush spreads over her, while her blue eyes sparkle like sapphires. At times like these, the passion she seems to keep hidden shows, and he is reminded so strongly of….that he almost forgets…

"So, Teddy, have you read _Pink and White Tyranny _yet?"

She needs to stop catching him off guard like that. He turns around to see Jo looking intently at him, and he has to look down quickly to avoid being mesmerized by the smile that he knows is waiting for him.

"Good gracious, Jo, you scared me. No… I know you have been telling me to, but I have not." He tries joking - that always seems to distract him. "Besides, can you imagine what would happen if one of my male colleagues walked in on me reading a book with such a… feminine overtone?"

Jo looks offended. "What is wrong with reading a book with a _feminine overtone_, Laurie?" Her eyes flash as Laurie opens and closes his mouth in shock. _This _is what happens when he doesn't meet Jo for a week nowadays. A cat gets his tongue and he says the most foolish things; he cannot think of one conversation he has been proud of since yesterday.

Normally Laurie sees Jo almost five days a week. Jo she eats lunch in between her classes at Plumfield while the professor teaches older children. Laurie arrives exactly when her break begins, and they both sit in the kitchen and share food. They fit as much conversation and as many laughs as they can into an hour, before Laurie must return home and Jo must attend to her pupils.

This week, though, the old man was out of town, and Jo ate while she taught; Laurie fidgeted at home and tried not to think about her. Their lunch meetings are the only times when Amy is not breathing down his neck to be more sociable and the professor is not staring at Jo with sickeningly sweet expressions on his face. Their lunch meetings are the only times when everything feels just like ought to be.

"I'm so sorry, Jo. I just haven't been myself today, and I cannot for the life of me figure out what is making me this way."

What a blatant lie.

Her eyes soften, and she pats his shoulder. "Oh, cheer up old chap! Are you getting enough exercise? Sometimes all it takes is a nice walk in the morning to keep life going capitally!"

"Maybe, if you will join me?" He hopes she cannot hear the desperation, the pleading in his voice.

She looks away quickly. Of course she can. They know each other too well. His treacherous mouth continues. "It's just that, I have not seen you all week, and I've missed you."Her eyes flit to his, and her ears turn pink. Laurie nearly falls over when he hears her soft whisper. "So have I".

She clears her throat quickly enough though, and proceeds to repeat to him the reason she likes… _Pink and White Tyranny. _ "I don't believe that you seriously meant any of that feminine overtone nonsense you just muttered, so I am just going to ignore it. The book is by Harriett Beecher Stowe, Laurie! You know, the woman who wrote _Uncle Tom's Cabin?_ It's about a good looking woman who marries for money." Laurie feels terrible and wrong, but he automatically visualizes someone who looks a lot like Amy. "And it's a brilliant satire, about how a woman's worth is so much more than the way she looks; how she should be using something else to become noticed in society. You know, I should make all the boys and girls at Plumfield read it!"

Jo's rant is suddenly interrupted by a very polished voice. "Oh! So you're the fabulous woman with the school!" Laurie turns to find Mrs. Davies looking at Jo with unmistakable admiration in her eyes. It takes an eye very tuned to jealousy to see it, but Amy looks a little annoyed at the loss of attention. She walks over and loops her arm in the crook of Laurie's elbow.

Jo smiles broadly. "Thank you! Hello, Mrs. Davis…? Dave… Davis?"

Mrs. Davies looks amused. "Davies, dear…You are also the author of _My Beth_?"

Jo nods, and Mrs. Davies is suddenly gushing. "Your book had me in tears. I think it must have been… thrice, and I read the whole thing so quickly, because I just could not move from my chair once I opened it. "

Laurie wants to remember Jo's face like this; she looks flattered and embarrassed, but also so happy she glows, and everyone around the room seems to fade into the background. She thanks Mrs. Davies profusely, and tries to shrug off the compliments, but Mrs. Davies will not have any of it.

"I must have Anna attend your school! Some of the schools around our house are so very disappointing. They only teach little girls how to draw, sing, knit and sew; she will only be good for sitting still and being admired. Nonsense, in my opinion. I was lucky that my father was so very liberal and I got a good education, and I want the same for Anna."

Amy's voice suddenly interjects, "Pardon me, Mrs. Davies, but is she your daughter? You don't look very much alike."

Mrs. Davies laughs delicately. "No, no, of course not. But I do have my heart set on the little thing. Her family is very poor, you see. Educated and respectable, they came from Chile and moved to California during that gold craze. They didn't have much luck, I'm afraid. They somehow ended up in Connecticut, and little Anna met Charles one summer day when we were taking a stroll."

Jo looks excited. "Chile! How exotic!"

Mrs. Davies leans in slightly, and her voice becomes a whisper. "I don't usually tell people this, but I get the inkling just by looking at you that you might understand and sympathize with my frivolities. You see, I see something between those two. "

Jo smiles incredulously, but Mrs. Davies continues. "I am really quite serious! Look at the way they look at each other."

Laurie feels a sudden heat near his collar as he turns to watch Anna and Charles. They do seem to get along rather well. They are acting out a play of some sort for Daisy and Demi, and almost as if on cue, both of them burst out laughing, practically squealing with mirth.

"But they could just be friends, couldn't they?" asks Amy, her voice a very controlled cool. The heat around Laurie's collar is becoming more pronounced. He shakes his head slightly to get better circulation as Mrs. Davies unfortunately continues.

"Oh, come now. How rare is it that a boy and a girl get along so well? And at such a young age! They both just turned eight years old. My Charles practically lights up when he hears her name, and she already has a pet name for him; no one else dares to call him Charlie!"

Amy's hands suddenly loosen their grip on Laurie's elbow, and he looks over to see her watching him, her face expressionless. His eyes dart by instinct to Jo, only to find that she is looking determinedly at any place but the spot where he and Amy are standing.

"They cannot go even a couple of days without seeing each other, you know. They miss each other so, because they can just spend hours talking about absolutely nothing at all; their temperaments are so very similar."

Jo's eyes suddenly find him, and what he sees there momentarily makes his heart stop. He knew she would look uneasy, but he also sees a tinge of something else. If he didn't know better, he might have assumed it was regret.

Mrs. Davies is still talking, clearly oblivious to the discomfort she is causing. "They aren't just friends, Mrs. Lawrence" – the name has never stung this much before – "they are the best of friends. And I'm telling you, a lot of "best of friends "inevitably become something more. All their chemistry gives way to something beautiful, and not one person has the right to keep people with such a blessing away from each other. I know I must sound terribly silly, but if it is meant to happen – which I really think it is – I am all for it."

The silence that ensues is so awkward that Mrs. Davies finally begins to look confused and uncomfortable. Jo is fidgeting with the end of her dress, Amy is still wearing that unreadable stare, and Laurie suddenly realizes he is practically dismantling his collar. It is Meg who interrupts the conversation – where did she come from? - with a knowing look on her face.

"So, what do you say to accepting Anna as a student, Jo?"

Laurie does not wait to hear the answer. He mutters a pathetic and inaudible excuse before he heads into the kitchen and out through the back door to get some fresh air.

**Dun dun dun! Poor Laurie, Poor Jo, Poor Amy! Would you perhaps like to review?**


	4. Chapter 4 All the more special

**A/N : I just realized that my last chapter had quite a few typos. Sorry about that! I reread it, was all O.O and then I changed it… so now it's hopefully typo free. Well, without further ado, here's Chapter 4!**

**Chapter 4 – All the more special **

Brooke's gardening really _is _coming along quite well, Laurie notes, before he stares up at the birds that seem to be mocking him with their particularly cheerful chirping. Scowling, he tries to convince himself that he has to go back inside. He has been out for a good ten minutes, and he knows he is acting like an impudent little boy. If he does not return soon, people will notice his absence, and poor Amy will be so upset that he did not just brush off Mrs. Davies' comments. But some force seems to be attaching him to the cool grass. He hears a stumble followed by rather loud footsteps, and he sighs, because he knows without turning who has joined him outside.

He does not what to say to Jo, and he is not completely sure if he wants to say anything at all. They can all just go back to pretending that nothing is wrong.

"Hello, Teddy".

_That was simple enough._

"Are they waiting for me?"

"I made up a story about your supposed intolerance for the smell of garlic. Meg was making Daisy's favorite dish in the kitchen." She smiles hesitantly, but he cannot return the gesture.

"Teddy, I think that we need to have a talk"

Her voice sounds desperate all of a sudden, and Laurie sees a lovely pink tint around her ears.

"About what, Jo?"

_Just play the incompetent fool, and she will not suspect anything._

"You are my dearest and closest friend, Laurie, and we are supposed to be honest and open with each other –"

A powerful wave of resentment builds in Laurie's chest, and he cannot bite back what rises out of his mouth.

"You mean like you were when you refused me all those years ago?"

Jo's mouth, usually so quick to form a witty reply or an entertaining dialogue, is quite immobile, her lips open in a silent gasp.

_This is all so familiar._

"Please explain what you mean, Jo, and I will try harder to be a better _friend. _Because I am so very sure that we have always had something I cannot define, describe or replicate". His voice is low and harsh. "I know that you were scared on that day, and you wouldn't admit it. I know that you feel that emptiness when we're apart. I know that you cannot be with any other man the way you are with me."

"Teddy, please-". He shrugs off her hand and continues, refusing to stop.

"You know how I know all of this, Jo? I am your _dearest and closest friend. _I know you, Jo – like the back of my palm. And I know that you know what I feel. I am so fed up, I…"

"Teddy!" Her cool palms are suddenly around his face as she forces him to look at her. He notices with shock that she is holding back tears; they glisten in her eyes, defying her will.

"I will explain." She takes a shaky breath, and her hands leave his face. Her eyes, however, lock him in place. "I want you to listen to what I have to say completely. Please do not interrupt me, as I have interrupted you." Laurie doesn't speak, because he is mesmerized by the tear that now lingers gently on her cheek."I was wrong, all those years ago, Laurie, and I see that now – I have been seeing it for quite a few months now. When you left after that day….that was when I first realized just how much I need your presence."

The memory of leaving is still so fresh in his mind, he can feel his expression harden.

"I need you, Teddy. To feel like myself– to feel comfortable in my shoes." Her voice is so uncharacteristically soft."You make me feel like just being Jo March is enough. You make me love being myself."

_As a friend?_

"… And I love you for that."

Her eyes are suddenly burning, and Laurie cannot believe this is actually happening. He must be dreaming. Any minute now, he will wake up, his palms sweaty, inhaling the scent of Amy's hair…

"I love you, Teddy, and I am so sorry that it has taken me so long to realize, so long to admit."

Her name escapes his lips like a cry for help, like a last grip at sanity.

"Jo?"

His arm acts out of its own volition as grabs hers roughly. Their bodies are so close now; he can hear every breath he takes; He can see her long brown eyelashes, the exact curve of her doe shaped eyes…

He kisses her then, for the second time in his life, and this kiss is so different from the first. He is barely aware of the breeze that stirs his hair; he can only feel her nails digging into his shirt, her slightly cracked lips, her narrow, boyish hips fitting so perfectly against his own. He has never had a kiss like this. He is drowning in passion and oblivion as he draws away, only to kiss her fervently once more, twice more, hoping to God that this moment will never, ever end.

His hope falls short, _like always. _Her hands leave his shirt quite abruptly and they begin to push him away – slowly, then more forcefully. He stops, because this is Jo, and though he is confused and desperate, he never wants to hurt her. A small sob escapes her lips, and he is in agony. Her voice is heavy, clouded with tears.

"Laurie, don't you see? I came here to apologize."

He does not want an apology. He wants to possess her, to complete her, to live every waking moment with the knowledge that nobody else knows her or understands her or _loves her _like he does.

"I have Friedrich, you have Amy"

_No._"I don't care. I don't give a damn penny about propriety, or family or…"He stops, because of course he does. But not even half as much as he cares for her.

"Do you love me, Laurie?

He puts all his life into his next breath. "Yes."

"And I love you" Her words make him ache, and he is mortified to taste a salty tear at the corner of his mouth. "But I know that marriage would have destroyed our love. Don't you see that I could never be Mrs. Lawrence? I can't entertain guests, I can't be dainty, I can't plan extravagant parties…"

He winces at those familiar words. "None of that would have mattered, Jo"

"_But it would, Teddy." _ Her eyes search his desperately, trying to make him understand. "It would have. We love each other, but we were never meant to be husband and wife. Our love would have been weakened by the constraints and needs of society. I would not have been able to be a good wife, and sooner or later you would have realized that is what you needed to realize your full potential. And – "Her voice is stronger now, surer. "I would have ended up resenting you, for making me give up my dream to tend to you. I would have resented you for taking away my imagination, my freedom. "

He can tell she has given this a lot of thought. And though what she is saying is tearing his heart to shreds - maybe it is the proximity to her pure and unfettered soul – he feels comprehension dawning, and some of his pain is subdued, numbed.

"We can love each other from afar, Teddy. We are no longer boy and girl, but we can help and comfort each other as man and woman while we relive those happy times. Marriage would have extinguished our love, but it is friendship – because _we are the best of friends _– that keeps it alive and burning."

He pulls her to him again, because somewhere in the back of his mind, he knows that this is the last time that he ever can.

"And what about this?" he asks, despite his hardened heart. He stares resolutely at the floor, willing his heart to stop beating so loudly.

"This will never happen again, Teddy. We owe that much to our loved ones, our beliefs, and our upbringing."

She must see the shadow that has fallen over his face, because she lifts face up so he once again is looking into her eyes.

"It is a tribute to our friendship and our love, Laurie, that we can resist this impulse. Our friendship is greater than so many friendships- all the more special - because we resisted the inevitable to keep it alive."

Her lips touch his one last time for the sweetest, but most sorrowful kiss he has ever received, before she walks back, shoulders stooped, but footsteps sure, to the house.

Laurie's feet are the first to escape the haze that has overtaken his body. He is barely aware of how much time has passed, or even where he is headed. But his body suddenly feels light; he understands now what has given Jo strength all these years.

Laurie does not need to live his life devoid of her love. He needs to live his life upholding it, protecting it, and making sure it will never die. He can breathe, for the first time in so many years. He knows now that he will be able to, for many years to come.

***Bites nails***

**I know, I know! It was cheesy! But cheese is good? I mean, think of pizza, pretzel dip, some types of Ragu sauce….**

**And I couldn't help myself! They needed closure, dammit! **

**There's one more chapter left, by the way, featuring dearest(?) Amy**

… **I will like you almost as much as I like cheesy! Ragu sauce if you review….**


	5. Chapter 5 Audience

**A/N : Sorry for the super long wait! I was on vacation ****, but I'm back with a final chapter!**

**Chapter 5 - Audience**

Amy watches Charles and Anna as she wills herself to stop thinking about the fact that both Jo and Laurie have been outside, alone, together, for a good while now. Every giggle, every laugh is bringing her to the verge of tears. But she can't cry; she won't cry. She has perfected the art of holding in her disappointment.

Because she knows that she has tried. Oh, she has tried.

At first, Laurie had been so attentive – so enraptured by everything about her. She could see it in the way he stared at her during parties when he thought she wasn't looking. She could see it in their tender yet passionate lovemaking. She could see it in the way he seemed to hang on her every word.

But she knows better now. He didn't know it, but he stared at her because she was Jo's sister, and no matter how different the two were, there would always be family resemblances. Their lovemaking was a frenzied attempt to forget, to try and be happy with the present. He hung on her every word in hopes that a true conversation would arise.

When she first admitted to herself the inevitable, she decided that she could fix it. She, Amy March, could capture Laurie's heart as she had captured the hearts of many men before. Feminine charms and seduction held his attention for only a short while before he fell back into his rather stony self, so – she is ashamed to admit it – she tried to be a bit like Jo.

She purposely dropped teacups in order to receive an incredulous laugh in return; she only got a puzzled stares. She attempted to read interesting books and talk about them; Laurie only corrected her interpretations. She tried to attract the whole family as Jo did without trying; she ended up looking airy and obnoxious instead of natural, warm, and simple.

And yet, Amy knows one thing for sure- she loves Laurie. Why else would her breath become uneven at the sound of his name? Why does her heart beat faster when they are in the same room? Why does every moment he spend with Jo make her ears roar? Why does she even tolerate all the heartache?

It's simple, she realizes as she watches Anna block a friendly, but rather aggressive pat that Demi intended for Charles. Amy knows one thing for sure - she loves Laurie.

She lets Laurie go to Jo, because she knows it is what he needs to be happy. She moves aside when the best friends enter a discussion because she knows that Laurie has been waiting so long for a good argument. She lets Laurie lie about "business lunches" that are actually lunches at Plumfield. She turns her head away when she sees Laurie stare at Jo.

She pointedly looked in another direction when Jo followed Laurie wanted him for herself, even though he could never truly be hers. And since what goes up must come down, she pays for her act of great selfishness with small, painful, never - ending acts of selflessness.

So as Laurie returns now, Amy ignores his dazed, contented expression and all its implications. She ignores the faint blush on Jo's cheeks.

She and Laurie spend the carriage ride home in silence. She prepares for bed quickly, neatly, efficiently. She replies to Laurie's forced casual remarks with one word answers and curt nods.

But before she goes to bed, she watches his tall, strong form bustling around the room. She takes in his intense dark eyes, his brooding brow, his chiseled features – and she cannot help herself.

"Good night, Laurie"

His head snaps up, and she can once again see guilt pool up in his eyes

"Good night, Amy"

"I love you, Laurie"

She knows even as she utters the words that he will not hear them.

**Angst, angst, dum dum dum.**

**This marks the end of my first fanfic….please, please, please review?**


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